A Day Link Was Picked On
by Mr. Neptune
Summary: The title says it. Two Kokiri's pick on Link, using the logic of what Link can't do. Soon it turns into a crazy adventure with Link, made up characters, and other author's too if they desire! Onward with Insanity! ITS OVER. Ending with DVD Specials Chapta
1. Link gets his wish

Disclaimer: Not my characters (well, three of them are), but it is my plot.  
  
................................................................ A day Link was picked on.  
  
It was a beautiful morning in Kokiri Forest and Link was roaring to do something...fun...yeah that works.  
  
"Hey, Link! Come here!" Jikira, a local Kokiri boy yelled from far away.  
  
Link automatically listened and came to where the boy was standing. Just then, Kakuchi, Jakira's friend, jumped out and tackled him. Link wrestled the both of them but they ended up being victorious. Jikira had his sword, and Kakuchi had his Shield.  
  
That was when Link's buddy, Kogavin, came over onto the scene.  
  
"Link, is everything okay?" He asked. Link shook his head no, and prodded his head in the direction of the two Kokiri boys. Kogavin glared at them.  
  
"Give it back to him!" He ordered.  
  
"No," Jikira said plainly, "Link can ask for it himself, if he asks for it, I'll gladly give it to him."  
  
"Aw, man, come on, you know you the people who make his games don't let him talk!" Kogavin pointed out.  
  
"Come on, Link. Ask for it," Jikira taunted, while Kakuchi snickered. Link turned red and stared at the ground in anger.  
  
"Stop it!" Kogavin yelled.  
  
"Come on, Link. Jump for your shield," Kakuchi taunted, holding his shield just out of Link's reach.  
  
"Aw, come on, you know they don't let him jump either!" Kogavin sighed.  
  
"They did in the second one," Jikira added.  
  
"But this is made of the Ocarina of Time, one," Kogavin pointed out.  
  
"Ah, right," They said together, "Hey, wait, this is just some stupid fanfic made by some stupid kid (The Author takes a bow)  
  
"That means anything can happen, right?" Kogavin grinned evilly.  
  
The other two nodded slowly. Link looked back up and smirked. Suddenly his eyes began to go pale blue. He clothes turned into a white and blue tunic. His hair turned white, he link grew twice his size. Then Link wielded a crossed sword, that was two inches from Jikiras face.  
  
"My sword and shield, please," Link said calmly.  
  
"Come on, Link. You know in fanfics like these you say curse words every time you can," Kogavin smirked.  
  
Link said nothing, while the other two gulped. In one swift moment, Link made a huge swipe of his sword, causing Jikira's and Kakuchis hats to split in half. They screamed like little girls as they ran off.  
  
And with that, Link became the new, talking, jumping, warrior of Hyrule. Should make things more fun now. This has been a extremely messed up fanfic by Mr. Neptune. 


	2. Minki the Monkey

This story was only supposed to be one chapter, but what the heck, lets make more. READ, and be happy, or Minki (read to find out) will kill you, bwah ha ha!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ `With Links New found abilities to speak, jump, and shoot LASER BEAMS from his eyes!!!, Link heads towards Saria's house to show off.  
  
"Hey," Link shouted to none other than Mr. Neptune, "I can talk now, so I'm narrating this story!"  
  
"um, okay?" Mr. Neptune replied.  
  
"And, we're doing it my way!" Link snarled.  
  
Link: Like this!  
  
Neptune: Oh, very well...  
  
Link: Saria!  
  
Saria: What now Mido!? Link?! Wow...you look the same.  
  
(Suddenly Link began to do jumping jacks while singing one of Brittney Spears popular songs)  
  
Saria: Wow link! You can jump! You can talk! You suck at singing!  
  
Link: Hey, that's not very nice.  
  
Mr. Neptune: But true...very true  
  
Link: You're still here!?  
  
Kogavin: Hey, why didn't you wait for me you freak person!  
  
Link: Oh, sorry...  
  
Kogavin: Hey, I don't remember you learning to shoot 'Laser Beams' from your eyes.  
  
Link: What are you talking about? Where did you hear that?  
  
Kogavin: Up there. (he points up to the top of the chapter)  
  
Link: (shrugs) Cool.  
  
(Link saps two beams of green light from his eyes right at Mr. Neptune.)  
  
Mr. Neptune: AH! You fool! {Thud}  
  
(Mr. Neptune lays on the ground unconscious) Link: Takes care of that moron  
  
(Saria starts to leave while Kogavin entertains himself, poking Mr. Neptune with a stick)  
  
Jikira: Does that amuse you monkey boy?  
  
Link: I'll show you a monkey boy  
  
(then out of nowhere, green powder flies from Links hand and surrounds Jikira, and turns him into a monkey.)  
  
Kogavin: Cool....Whatta going to call him?  
  
Link: Minki the Monkey.  
  
And with that, Link sets off into Hyrule field with his Pet Monkey, his best friend, and a bag of lay's chips.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yes, my chapter is short. They're all going to be short. Im just evil like that. Oh well. It's kind of like the cartoon clone wars. Yeah, that. So, maybe they're might be more, so this has a been a part of the messed up story by Mr. Neptune. 


	3. Nick Names

Chapter 3 of something that doesn't make sense! Aka, A day Link was picked on, and that only happened in one chapter! Oh, well, on with the...thing...  
  
**************************************************************** Kogavin: As I was saying...  
  
Link: Shut up!  
  
Kogavin: What? Why?  
  
Link: It's the beginning of a new chapter!  
  
Kogavin: SO?  
  
Link: No one is going to understand what we were talking about! So drop it!  
  
Kogavin: Fine...I can't remember what I was saying anyway.  
  
Minki: Ahhh, Aeee, oooahhh  
  
Kogavin: What did he say?  
  
Link: He said, "you can't remember because it wasn't typed, or because your a dick!"  
  
Kogavin: Hey! This is PG, you can't call be a dick in a PG story!  
  
Link: Too Bad!  
  
Just then, Mr. Neptune came rushing down, wearing a reporters suit (don't ask), holding some paper, and scrolls and such. He seemed out of breath...because he was!  
  
Link: You again!?  
  
Mr. Neptune: That's right.  
  
Link: What are you doing here?  
  
Mr. Neptune: Taking place as the rightful person to do stuff!  
  
Link: Fine, I'm still the leader of this story.  
  
Mr. Neptune: Fine, whatever! But also, I have brought this dude.  
  
(He, I, whatever! forks a thumb behind and points to Kakuchi who came by, wearing a brown robe, and was taking the papers and scrolls from Mr. Neptune.)  
  
Link: Ooooooo! Another Monkey!  
  
Mr. Neptune: Nope, he's the scroll guy. He will be recording our adventure!  
  
Link: How dare you defy my Monkey craving! Oh, well.  
  
Kakuchi: What adventure is this anyway?  
  
Kogavin: I don't know. This is just a pathetically weak chapter, of us blabbing about crap.  
  
Mr. Neptune: By the way, Kakuchi, in this your name is Scroll Guy, okay? We will all have nick names. Link, your's is...uh,...Link I suppose...  
  
Link: Awesome!  
  
Mr. Neptune: Minki and Mink. Kogavin will be Cloud! And finally I will be just plain Neptune!  
  
Cloud: Oh very well.  
  
Link: Now, what?  
  
Neptune: We rally through other towns and gather people to join our cause!  
  
Scroll Guy: and that is....  
  
Neptune: Defeating a bad guy of some sort I guess.  
  
That being said, Link, Neptune, Cloud, Scroll Guy, and Mink traveling on. (The Bag of chips was eaten by Mink, Darn that Monkey!!!) ************************************************************************  
  
That's it. I'm so messed up. 


	4. The Zelda Force

Sorry, I haven't been posting lately. SPRING BREAK! Did you miss me? Probably not, but my fics you probably did. So here is chapter 4 of A day link was picked on.  
  
I think I might change my title of this fic. Read and think logically of what I will change it too.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
Link: Where the heck are we?  
  
Neptune: Come on, Link! Follow the rules! Everyone knows that in fanfics you should be shouting swear words.  
  
Link: Um, right. Where the hell are we?  
  
Scrolls: We are going absolutely nowhere.  
  
Link: Eh, works for me. So. What are we doing anyway?  
  
Neptune: I just told you in the last chapter that we are rallying people to join are cause!  
  
Cloud: I say we go to Karkarilo village first!  
  
Neptune: Sure  
  
Link: I'm the leader!! We go where I say we go!!  
  
Minki: Ahhhh Aeeee ("and that is where...?")  
  
Link: Karkarilo Village  
  
(Everyone else sighs...)  
  
Cloud: hey shouldn't this 'group' of ours have a name of some type.  
  
Neptune and Scrolls: Yup.  
  
Neptune: I have named this group the Zelda Force!  
  
Link: Arrgh! Why does EVERYTHING have to be named after that stupid girl! See's not even in this adventure!  
  
Cloud:.....Yet! Not yet! Anyway, how many should be in this 'force'?  
  
Neptune: There is currently five of us. We should have eight in our group. Just because I said so. Scrolls! Present you're scrolls!  
  
Scrolls: Scroll #1: Link and Newfound Abillities!  
Scroll #2: Double Kokiri Attack!  
Scroll #3: A Monkey of Pride  
Scroll #4: Neptune. Scrolls, and Cloud.  
Scroll #5: The Zelda Force! That's it.  
  
Neptune: Excellent! So we are currently on Scroll #5.  
  
Link: Can we go now!?  
  
Cloud: Impatient fool! Fine, lead the way...  
  
The five of them went on and appeared at the entrance of Karkarilo Village. The guard had locked the gate to go in.  
  
Cloud: Can we go in?  
  
(the guard said nothing)  
  
Link: My turn...LET US IN or I'll Cut your neck.  
  
(the guard glared at link)  
  
Guard: I will let you in IF you can get past my riddle!  
  
Link: This should be easy!  
  
Guard: Okay...if you have a canoe and its going down a hill, and it doesn't have any wheels on it, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house?  
  
Link: Um....  
  
Neptune:.......  
  
Minki: Ahhhhh, aeeeee  
  
Scrolls:.....uh.......  
  
Cloud....let's see....canoe...no wheels....um....3? no, um, 4?  
  
????: Seven!  
  
Guard: Correct! You may all pass.  
  
(a new boy comes on the scene!)  
  
Scrolls: How did you know?  
  
????: That's easy, because Ice Cream has no bones  
  
Link: What the F***!  
  
????: Hey, now...  
  
Cloud: who are you?  
  
????: I'm Neptune's buddy, SilentSufferer19!  
  
Neptune: hey, want to join our cause?  
  
Silentsufferer19:......sure.....  
  
Scrolls: Okay, you're nick name will be, SS19.  
  
SS19: Wow, my name sounds like a gun.  
  
Link: what the heck is a gun!  
  
Neptune: link...  
  
Link: Oh, right, what the hell is a gun!  
  
Scrolls: Never Mind that! I just got done with scroll #6: SS19 The Gun.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Here is the current Zelda Force!  
  
Link Neptune Cloud Scrolls SS19 Minki  
  
And that is all people! Since these chapters are so friggen short, you can expect another one tomorrow or the day after. 


	5. The Parting of Ways

Thanks to my reviews. (Especially the ones that stick with this). I have a request for readers, please R & R my second fic, if you're into Mario that is. Thanks, on with the...thing..  
  
************  
  
The six members of the Zelda force move on!! They got bored of Karkarilo village and decided to leave. They where on the way to Lon Lon Ranch!. Just then, a Talon appears out of nowhere.  
  
Talon: Hey, I have good news  
  
Link: [sighing] yes, yes, what is it?  
  
Talon: I saved a bunch of money on my Horse insurance!  
  
Scrolls: That's good fer you.  
  
Talon: whatever, the real reason I'm here is to tell you that Ganondorf and his army, and you and your army, have to rage war against each other!!.  
  
Neptune: How do you know?  
  
Talon: I dunno...hey you need a plot don't ya? Here ya go!  
  
SS19: Is that all?  
  
Talon: I believe so...  
  
Link: Then take us to Lon Lon Ranch  
  
Talon: Oh, no! It is now called the Zelda Ranch.  
  
Link: Argh! EVERYTHING is named after her. It has nothing to do with her either!  
  
Cloud: So we need an army against evil? Hmmmm  
  
SS19: So what do we do now?  
  
Scrolls: We rally and find people, and other races and make a huge army!  
  
Link: I can already think of three races. Goron's, Zora's, and Deku's.  
  
Neptune: I say we split up and try to convince other races to join are QUEST!  
  
Link: ME! And cloud shall see the GORONS!!!!  
  
Cloud: Will you please stop shouting!!!  
  
Neptune: Me and SS19 shall see the Deku's and Kokiri  
  
SS19: Word. Scrolls: I guess that leaves me with Minki. And the Zora's. So this begins Scroll #7: The Parting of Ways.  
  
Cloud: So it is...  
  
Link: I say we go to Lon Lon ranch before the SPLITING!  
  
SS19: Double word.  
  
(They magically appear at the Lon Lon Ranch in a matter of seconds!!!)  
  
Malon: (Stares into Neptune's eyes with deep interest)  
  
Neptune: (stares into Malon's eyes also with deep interest)  
  
Malon: (Continues to stare)  
  
Neptune: (Continues to stare back)  
  
......  
  
Neptune: Alright! You're in the group!  
  
Malon: Awesome! Do I get a nickname!  
  
Link: Yeah, MILK! Or...um...MILKLADY....or it could be...MERY DAIRY!  
  
Cloud: Link, shut up!  
  
Link: Hey, don't talk to the leader of this group like that!  
  
Cloud: Whatever...  
  
Neptune: She's joining my group when we leave to the FOREST!  
  
Cloud: Great, now you're shouting  
  
Neptune: Sorry, I'll try to stop more often.  
  
SS19; Triple word.  
  
Talon: Stop that!  
  
SS19: Up yers.  
  
Talon: Fair Enough.  
  
(And so the Zelda Force is split up, for the moment. Neptune, SS19, and Nicki (Malon's nick name) go searching for forest allies. Link and Cloud search for the Gorons. And finally Scrolls, and Minki go to the Zora...place.)  
  
WHEN WILL THEY MEET UP AGAIN?  
  
WHO WILL JOIN THE ARMY?  
  
WHY AM I ASKING YOU ALL THESE QUESTIONS? (completely stolen from Spongebob Squarepants)  
  
WHY ARE THESE WORDS EXTREMELY HUGE? BECAUSE THEY'RE IMPORTANT, THAT'S WHY!.  
  
COME BACK NEXT CHAPTER: (I don't have a name for it yet).  
  
***************  
  
Thanks to one of my readers, Marioette AD (don't think I spelled it right, but oh well), I have decided to have my readers join the force. Unlike SilentSufferer19, I forced him, tee hee. Not really but oh well.  
  
First, if you want to join, say yes or no in your review.  
  
Also:  
  
Your Race (Goron, Zora, Deku, Kokiri, Hylian, Gerudo, etc, or make up your own race!)  
  
Name:  
  
Power: (if you want any)  
  
And your personality. And anything else you desire! Mr. Neptune! SWOOSH! 


	6. New Characters!

Hello peoples. On with chapter...something, I lost count...here we go I guess?  
  
**********************  
  
Link: (starts to hum the Zelda Theme, really loudly)  
  
Cloud: You know, ever since you had you're ability to talk, you've been nothing but a pain in the ass!  
  
Link: Yeah, so?  
  
Cloud: Are we going to the Goron Village?  
  
Link: Nope, the Dodongo Caverns.  
  
Cloud: You idiot! Why there?  
  
Link: Some Gorons hang out there.  
  
Cloud: Yeah, but more are at the Goron village.  
  
Link: Well. I'm the leader and I say we go to the Dodongo Caverns.  
  
Cloud: Well, you're an idiot!  
  
Link: you're a stupid moron!  
  
Cloud: Right back at ya!  
  
Link: um...uh...you're mom!  
  
Cloud: Lets not get into mama jokes.  
  
Link: Anyway, on to the Dodongo Caverns.  
  
(They Magically Appear at the entrance)  
  
Link: that was fast!  
  
(Suddenly, an Arrow with Dark Energy flew and hit Cloud in the leg. Cloud falls over groaning)  
  
Link: *laughs hysterically at Cloud*... Hey, who did that?  
  
????: I did!  
  
(Suddenly a girl appears on the scene. She had short light green hair, a kokiri hat, and kokiri clothing. A sword and shield rested on her back. A bow was in her hand. She obviously looked like a female version of Link)  
  
Link: Wow, she so pretty  
  
Cloud: I think you mean. She is so pretty.  
  
Link: whatever, who are you?  
  
????: I am Linda of Lorule! The She-Link! But just call me Linda.  
  
Link: Awesome!  
  
Cloud: You Freak Person! Why did you shoot me with that arrow.  
  
Linda: That was no ordinary arrow. That was a Dark arrow, obviously the opposite of the Light arrow, which link holds. I also have some...other dark...things. Oh I shot you because I am the sword protector of the mountains.  
  
Link: Works for me! Do you wish to join our quest against Ganondorf?  
  
Linda: Eh, sure, I was bored anyway.  
  
Link: Awesome! That's one new ally!  
  
Cloud: HELLO!? I WAS JUST SHOT WITH AN ARROW, HELP ME!!!!!  
  
Linda: You have a strange companion here.  
  
Cloud: I'm not the strange one, Link is!  
  
Link: Now we're off to the Goron Village.  
  
***************  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Neptune: It's about time we got here!  
  
(Neptune, Malon (Her name went back because SS19 threatened me about it), and SS19 were all alone in the lost woods)  
  
Malon: wow...this place is so...so, green, and forestlyish.  
  
Neptune: Is that even a word?  
  
Malon: It is now.  
  
SS19: I have something to tell you...  
  
Malon and Neptune: what?  
  
(Suddenly SS19 rips his face off to reveal, THE HAPPY MASK SALESMAN! *Horror Music cues*)  
  
HMS19: Now the both of you are stuck in the forest with me...alone...  
  
Neptune and Malon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
*********************  
  
NOW WHAT WILL MALON AND NEPTUNE DO?  
  
IS LINDA REALLY ON THE GOOD SIDE? THE ARROWS ARE DARK, DOES THIS MEAN ANYTHING?  
  
WHY DIDN'T THE AUTHOR TELL WHAT HAPPENED TO SCROLLS AND MINKI?  
  
WHEN WILL THESE WORDS GO TO NORMAL SIZE?  
  
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Exclamation points to be continued). 


	7. Even More New Characters!

Glad to make my readers happy just as long as they read it, on with this thing!  
  
********************  
  
Scrolls: Of all the people to go with, I get stuck with the crazy monkey!  
  
Minki: *begans to pick nose*  
  
Scrolls: Gross. You moron!  
  
Minki: I used to be you're best friend you know...  
  
Scrolls: Ahhh! You speak?  
  
Minki: yeah, Mr. Neptune got tired of have me make monkey noises and then translating them. Oh well  
  
Scrolls: I still say you're an annoying pest!  
  
Minki: *attacks Scrolls*  
  
Scrolls: AHHHHHHHHH!  
  
(Scrolls passes out).  
  
*****************  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Link: He he he, this is great! A girl Link named Linda. That's like Link except the 'k' is like... a 'da', isn't that great!?  
  
Cloud: Who are you talking to?  
  
(Link realizes that Linda and Cloud are pretty far in front of him. He quickly joins them)  
  
Linda: (friendly tone) Stupid Link  
  
Link: that's not nice.  
  
Linda: you're right. Stupid Cloud.  
  
Cloud: grrrrr.  
  
(The three make it to the Goron village)  
  
Link: Hello? Is Darunia here?  
  
Some random Goron: he's not the leader anymore  
  
Link: what happened to Darunia  
  
New Leader: (darkly) he died in his sleep  
  
Cloud: Whoa, that sucks!  
  
***************************  
  
(Double, Meanwhile)  
  
Neptune & Malon: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
HMS19: Oh be quiet!  
  
Neptune: What did you do with SS19?  
  
HMS19: Oh, him? He left this story last chapter.  
  
Malon: Are you sure you didn't fuse with him?  
  
HMS19: what gave you that idea?  
  
Neptune: well, you 19 at the end of your name  
  
HMS: That better?  
  
Malon: I suppose  
  
HMS: Anyway, he left and I'm taking his place  
  
Neptune: Really.  
  
HMS: yeah and I'm use full too! I have all the masks from the Majora's mask game. Some have new powers too.  
  
Neptune: Very well, lets go.  
  
**************************  
  
(Scrolls awakens in the tent that is seen near the gerudo fortress.)  
  
Scrolls: What happened?  
  
Some doctor: your friend monkey here attacked you.  
  
Scrolls: Who are you?  
  
Doctor: Dr.Wilopolis! But just call me, The W.  
  
Scrolls: Why?  
  
W: Just do IT!  
  
*********************  
  
The end of that chapta! 


	8. Just some Stuff i suppose

Alright, two chapters in one day. Well, there short and I have a lot of free time. Eh, not really. Enough free time for this crap. (good crap I mean). On with chapter 8? Or 9? One of those.  
  
***********************  
  
Link: So...he's dead?  
  
New Leader: I believe so...  
  
Link: he can't die he's one of the sages!  
  
New Leader: Tough Beans! He died!  
  
Linda: Could we have you're name, please?  
  
New Leader: My name is Darmuni  
  
Link: Why does that not surprise me?  
  
Cloud: All the Goron leaders have names that start with 'D' I suppose. Go figure.  
  
Darunia: Brother? Brother! You're here!  
  
Cloud: Ah! A ghost!  
  
Linda: Cloud, you idiot!  
  
Cloud: Why do you hate me so?  
  
Linda: *smacks cloud over the head* because you were invading the mountains!  
  
Cloud: *moaning in pain* it was Links idea!  
  
Linda: so? I can't be mad at him, he's cute!  
  
Link: *smiles idiotically*  
  
(The three of them finally realized that Darmuni and Darunia are gone)  
  
Linda: Where did they go?  
  
Random Goron: They left and are waiting for you guys.  
  
(the three magically (man, I love magic, speeds things up) appear at the other two gorons)  
  
Cloud: So, are you both leaders?  
  
D & D: Yes we are.  
  
Darmuni: I have advise for you. Either go to the Karkarilo Village and look for someone named ???? but goes by 'Signs'. He will be helpful to you're quest! Or travel within the volcano here. Go deeper than you ever have before. Then you'll learn what to do.  
  
Link: It's settled! Cloud, go to Karkarilo Village, and look for this...signs dude. Me and Linda will go to the volcano!  
  
Cloud: To make out no doubt. *exits out the doors*  
  
(Linda and Link grin evilly and throw bombs out the door that follow Cloud)  
  
Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Link: (faking innocent) Oops!  
  
Darunia: As for me, I say enlist the help of the group, Zelda's Sages!  
  
Linda: I think you mean, 'the' sages.  
  
Darunia: Nope, it's just another thing named after her.  
  
Link: Argh!  
  
**********************  
  
Neptune: Let's go  
  
HMS: Hold on. *puts on skull mask from ocarina of time*  
  
(suddenly a skull kid appears. NOT the skull kid, A skull kid)  
  
Skull Kid: Yes?  
  
HMS: Join us  
  
Neptune: Join us  
  
Malon: Join us.  
  
Skull Kid: Sure, alright.  
  
*************************  
  
Another chapter without a part with Scrolls. Look for more, probably tomorrow. Or later this week 


	9. More Characters and Nick Names!

I am still at thought wither to let anonymous people join or not. Leave you're opinion on this matter if you will...  
  
************************  
  
Neptune: Hmmm....Skull Kid needs a name.  
  
Malon: So he does  
  
HMS: So do I  
  
Neptune: nobody cares about you at the moment.  
  
HMS: *begins to cry*  
  
Malon: What a baby  
  
Skull Kid: (Attacks HMS. Steels Majora's Mask) Just call me Majora now,  
  
Malon: Wait, aren't you evil?  
  
Majora: When against Ganondorf, I'm not.  
  
Neptune: That's cool.  
  
HMS: I still want a nick name  
  
Malon: Shut up!  
  
HMS: *continues crying*  
  
Majora: *sigh*  
  
Malon: I wonder whats happening to the others.  
  
????: I can tell you that!  
  
(they turn around and see the GREAT DEKU TREE!) (you can tell that he's great cause his title is in all caps)  
  
Deku Tree: Currently, Minki has gone missing after his attack on Scrolls. Scrolls has just met a new friend to join the Force. Link and Cloud met up with Linda, a girl Link for a quick explanation, and now Link and Linda are about to go within the volcano area, and Cloud is headed for Karkarilo Village.  
  
Neptune: That was deep...  
  
Malon: Ture ture  
  
Majora: *nods*  
  
HMS: *still crying over no nick name*  
  
Deku Tree: and so this group has a lot of members! Link....Neptune....Cloud....Scrolls....Minki....Malon....HMS....Linda....T.W.....and finally Majora!  
  
Neptune: Five people? That's pretty cool...  
  
Malon: Stop crying HMS. Okay here's a nick name. Mask..  
  
Mask: I like it!  
  
Malon: As for me I will be Zute  
  
Neptune: Awesome.  
  
Deku Tree: Now...you seek the help of the Kokiri, do you not?  
  
Neptune: Yes, we do....  
  
Deku Tree: Well then, let us begin..........  
  
********************************  
  
Scrolls: Where am I?  
  
T.W: In the Gerudo Valley  
  
Scrolls: Ah! I can't be here! The Gerudo are the enemy!  
  
T.W: But they're so pretty...  
  
Scrolls: Ugh, you moron! I'm looking for the Zora's  
  
T.W: It can wait  
  
Scrolls: No, it can't  
  
T.W: Oh, very well shall I-  
  
Gerudo Guard: Ah HA! Seize them!  
  
(Several Gerudo guards come and bag them in nets)  
  
Scrolls: Noooooooooooo!  
  
T.W: What he saiddddddddd!  
  
**************************  
  
Cloud: sigh, where the heck am I? *checks pockets obviously looking for something* Hey, where's my map? *pulls out piece of paper*  
  
Paper: (not talking, just a note) Looking for your map? Sorry, I took it. Signed by "Linda of Lorule! The Honored Thief!"  
  
Cloud: LINDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
****************************  
  
Neptune's group is having good success. Scrolls and T.W. are captured. Cloud is lost. Link and Linda? They weren't mentioned in this chapter. (Suspense music cues) I might even rewrite this as a serious fic....*laughs hysterically* . Yeah Right! Maybe...  
  
The Zelda Force members so far....  
  
Link  
  
Neptune  
  
Minki  
  
Cloud  
  
Linda  
  
Scrolls  
  
T.W.  
  
Mask  
  
Zute  
  
Majora 


	10. Signs

Just so SS19 knows, I WASN'T MAKING YOU CRY! It was the happy mask sales man, and yes was all know that you are him in disguise. I have something planned. (two happy mask salesman?) one doesn't seem happy at the moment. Oh well.  
  
**************************  
  
Cloud: Argh! I'm Lost!!!!!  
  
SS19: Loser!  
  
Cloud: Hey, weren't you with Neptune?  
  
SS19: Not for the moment. I'm here to help you cause you know you need it.  
  
Cloud: yeah...so?  
  
SS19: You're a moron! Follow me!  
  
(Soon, the both of them end up at the Entrance of Karkarilo Village)  
  
Guard: Another Riddle to get in  
  
SS19: yes yes, get on with it!  
  
Guard: If you're in a warehouse, and you're clipping your toenails, and its 70 degrees outside, how much will a rock cost on Ebay?  
  
Cloud: What the heck is an Ebay?  
  
Guard: oh forget it, go on in.  
  
(They go in asking people for information on the man called 'Signs')  
  
Person: Oh, him? He hides in the spider house and comes out only on Thursday nights. (beware for today is Thursday). He was sent to live there forever for attacking the Carpenters and accidentally shooting his master.  
  
Cloud: um...okay....  
  
SS19: Eh, works for me  
  
Cloud: What's so special about him?  
  
Person: He makes prophecies. His most recent one was that two people would be looking for him. One a 'cool' guy and one a loser.  
  
SS19: Well, we all know who the loser is, but lets not point fingers....*starts to jump around Cloud pointing and poking at him) LOSER! Hahhahahhahah  
  
Cloud: C'mon! Why am I the one who gets picked on?  
  
SS19: Because Linda finds it hysterical  
  
Cloud: Wait, how do you know about Linda  
  
SS19: I know....EVERYTHING  
  
Cloud: Like what?  
  
SS19: For example, I know that you're a loser and everyone picks on you  
  
Cloud: Crap, he's right  
  
SS19: C'mon lets go.  
  
(The two go inside the Spider house)  
  
Voice: who goes there?  
  
SS19: The great SS19 and the ungreat Cloud  
  
(a man walks out. He is old and has several golden spiders on him.)  
  
Cloud: Ooooo, spiderman!  
  
Signs: Idiot!  
  
Cloud: Well, will you-  
  
Signs: Yes, I know all about you're little quest. I guess I will join. People in this place are getting a bit frightened of me anyway.  
  
(And with that they head off to somewhere....)  
  
*****************************  
  
Mask: Can I alter my name a bit?  
  
Neptune: Whatever!  
  
Mask: I now become....(drum roll) F.Mask  
  
Malon: what the heck does that mean?  
  
F.Mask: Funky Mask  
  
Neptune; Sigh...  
  
Deku Tree: Here are the kokiri's, Already for battle.  
  
Neptune: Good lets move out!  
  
*********************  
  
blah blah blah. Its over! (just this chapter) 


	11. Jon, Rye, and a bunch of Cuccos

Mr.Neptune: ~dances around~ Time for the next chapta (oh, I did it again!)  
  
Readers: Just start the bloody story!!  
  
*****************************  
  
Gerudo mob: *Throw Scrolls and T.W. into a dungeon*  
  
Scrolls: Great, now what?  
  
T.W: I got just the thing. *eyes glow a pale yellow color*  
  
(Suddenly a whole hoard of Cuccos flew out of nowhere. They swarmed into the dungeon and busted the door down. T.W. puts one foot on top of a cucco and the other foot on another. Both cuccos lift him off the ground and take him away)  
  
T.W: Come on Scrolls!  
  
(Scrolls caught on, and jumped on two cuccos)  
  
Scrolls: Explain!  
  
T.W: Hey, you're the scroll guy. Haven't you been reading any of the reviews for this story?  
  
Scrolls: What are you talking about?!  
  
T.W: (talking to himself) oh, yeah,..he's not an author.  
  
Scrolls: yeah, I am. I'm recording this adventure, so it can be retold again and again!  
  
T.W: Fool, anyway, this is my power! I have the power to summon cuccos and magical daggers!  
  
Scrolls: Whatever, just get us out of here!  
  
Gerudo #1: STOP THEM!  
  
(Other Gerudo chuck spears that stab the Cucco's making a bloody mess)  
  
Scrolls: Great. We're surrounded!  
  
T.W: Not for long! ~whistles~  
  
(A huge black dragon appears on the scene, burning stuff to show off)  
  
Scrolls: Whoa...a dragon...  
  
T.W: Come on ~jumps on Dragon~  
  
Scrolls: ~jumps on too~ whats it's name?  
  
T.W: My dragon is called Jon!  
  
Scrolls: What the ****!? Who the crap names they're own special Dragon Jon?! It should be a cool name like..."Sindez' or 'Yamora' or something like that!  
  
T.W: Its my dragon, I NAME IT!  
  
Scrolls: Argh, whatever!  
  
*************************************  
  
Link: Hey, we're finally back in the fic!  
  
Linda: We've only been out for one chapter.  
  
Link: Making out? ~raises eyebrows hopefully~  
  
Linda: You wish....Man its hot in this volcano...  
  
Link: (singing) It's getting hot in here so take off all yer clothes...hint hint  
  
Linda: Forget it, Link!  
  
???: Hisssssssssssssss  
  
Link: Hello? Who's there?  
  
(Suddenly a demon descends from the ceiling)  
  
Linda: Who are you!?  
  
????: I am Rye, the Demon...hissssssssssss  
  
Linda: Yeah..enough with the hissing.  
  
Rye: Darunia and Darmuni sent you I'm guessing?  
  
Link: How'd ya know?  
  
Rye: I was just guessing you idiot  
  
Link: Stupid Smartass!  
  
*******************************  
  
And so Link, Linda, and Rye leave the Volcano. Scrolls and T.W leave Gerudo Valley, and Signs, SS19, and Cloud leave Karkarillo village. What happened to Minki? What about Neptune, F.Mask, and Zute(malon)?  
  
All of them (maybe) will be answered in the next chapter of stuff. 


	12. A gathering

Here ya go!  
  
****************************  
  
Linda: It's still hot in here.  
  
Rye: Thank you, captain obvious.  
  
Linda: (muttering) smartass  
  
Link: (singing yet again) it's getting hot in here, so Linda take off yer clothes.  
  
Linda: You perv *kicks Link*  
  
Link: *tries to look innocent*  
  
Rye: It's not getting hot in here, it was already hot in here to begin with!  
  
Link: (muttering) smartass........can we leave now?  
  
Linda: We will (in the words of Linda) keep yer skirt on.  
  
Link: Tunic!  
  
Linda: Whatever!  
  
(Within the hour, er, um...minutes I mean, the three of them make they're way to Karkarilo Village. They hear voices from ahead)  
  
Signs: (mystic tone) I sense three allies. Link, Linda, and Rye....  
  
SS19: That's because they're right in front of us, idiot!  
  
(Signs, actually opening his eyes all the way (partly closed to try to look mystic), saw that they were only about ten feet away from Link, Linda, and Rye)  
  
Cloud: Oh, great! It's Linda  
  
Linda: Hey, you found you're way here without the map...darn.  
  
Cloud: Can I have it back?  
  
Linda: Do you really need it?  
  
Cloud: Well, no...not anymore....Can I have it back anyway?  
  
Linda: Well-no...  
  
(Soon, the Six of them make they're way to Hyrule Field, not too far from the bridge to the market)  
  
SS19: Now what?  
  
Link: Before I answer that, I have a question to ask...where have you been in the last couple chapters?  
  
SS19: *grins evilly*  
  
Link: (looking a bit scared) never mind, we're about to raid on Ganondorf's castle.  
  
SS19: What time does this take anyway? Before the Seven years, or after?  
  
Link: I dunno, ask Neptune when he gets here.  
  
(Suddenly, a huge dragon lands nearby. Off jumps T.W. and Scrolls)  
  
Signs: I sense a dragon, and two guys approaching  
  
SS19: They're right over th- ah forget it  
  
Link: About time you guys showed up.  
  
Scrolls: Oh shut up!  
  
Linda: Hey, look over there!  
  
(In the distance is Neptune, Zute, Majora, and F.Mask leading a whole army of Kokiri's and Deku creatures. On the left of him is an army of Zora's. Leading them is Minki!)  
  
Scrolls: Oh...that's where that stupid monkey went.  
  
Link: Well, it looks like you're guys group was the most successful.  
  
Neptune: It appears so, and now, we take down Ganondorf!  
  
******************************************************  
  
Here is the full group!  
  
Link  
  
Neptune  
  
Cloud  
  
Scrolls  
  
Minki  
  
SS19  
  
Signs  
  
Linda  
  
Rye  
  
Jon  
  
T.W  
  
Majora  
  
F.Mask  
  
And Zute!  
  
Don't forget the armies!  
  
Battle against ganondorf will rage in the next chapta! 


	13. Raid on the Castle

HERE WE GO!  
  
\***************************  
  
Link: Have you noticed that the title of this fic only refers to chapter one?  
  
Cloud: Well, not really, we could pick on you now....moron  
  
Linda: Skirt Wearing freak!  
  
Signs: Fool, Freak, Scumboy!  
  
T.W: Chicken Lover!  
  
Jon: Rooooaaaaaarrr  
  
Rye: hisssssssssss....stupid ass  
  
T.W: Cluck Cluck  
  
Scrolls: Idiotic girl  
  
Neptune: Attention Seeking Prat!  
  
SS19: Panzy, Parodying, paluding, purduding...damn I can't think of anymore P words.  
  
Link: Watta bout Penis?  
  
SS19: Oh, im so gonna kink yer pansy asss!  
  
Majora: Stupid-oh!  
  
Zute: Rotten, slimmest, cockroachish, scummy, biggest piece of dirt on the planet!  
  
Everyone else: wow.  
  
Armies: Um...stupid head.  
  
Link: Okay, enough!  
  
Cloud: You have now been picked on a second time.  
  
Link: and you started it instead of stopping it! Argh, forget it, lets go.  
  
Everyone: *roars battle cry entering ganons castle*  
  
Link and Cloud slashed they're enemies with swords. Linda and Zute would use they're arrows (dark arrows for Linda) to shot they're enemies down.  
  
T.W would use his special abilities to summon attacking Cuccos and magical flying daggers, as Scrolls would some how shot magical beams from his scrolls.  
  
SS19 and F.Mask would use a series of masks to use different powers. Like Blast mask, and the FIECE DIETYS MASK (I hope I spelled it right )  
  
Signs would use mystical powers as would Rye. Jon the dragon would just burn stuff and roar every few minutes. Majora would summon the remains of other masks from the majora series.  
  
Neptune had many powers as this was his fic, he could do what ever he wanted. He ran like mad and kicked people, enemy or ally.  
  
Soon, all of the minions were defeated. Ganondorf came charging out.  
  
Ganondorf: Link, you IDIOT!  
  
Link: So, you surrender?  
  
Ganondorf: Surrender what!? Why are you here? What are you doing!?  
  
Link: We're having war against each other, remember?  
  
Ganondorf: I have no idea what your talking about!  
  
Link: So...Talon was...wrong?  
  
Ganondorf: Talon? You actually listened to that fool? He's drunk on milk....MILK!  
  
Talon: And it was good....  
  
Everyone: Starts to laugh friendly like (including Ganondorf)  
  
(Everyone turns to the readers)  
  
Everyone: Got Milk?  
  
****************************************  
  
Yup, that's the end of the story. It was all a Milk commercial. So go drink some, it makes bones strong.  
  
MUST READ: this is not the end of the story. Next Chapter, DVD Bonus features, specials, secrets, behind the scenes, bloopers, deleted scenes and more! 


	14. DvD Special Features!

A day link was picked on, the DVD specials! 

Introduction:

Neptune: Hello, I'm Mr.Neptune. The writer of the fic!

Link: and I'm Link. The Hero of the Fic!

Neptune: And the both of us are introducing the dvd specials for a day link was picked on.

Link: Lets go in shall we?

Facts and Secrets:

Neptune: One fact is that we actually did bring in SS19 without his permission. Thankfully he didn't mind and didn't try to kill me when we met in person.

Link: And a fun fact. The Brittney Spear song that I was singing in the second chapter was "Hit me Baby one more time!" because that was the only song that was actually good! The reason behind the singing was to prove to Saria that I can actually talk.

Neptune: F.Mask aka the Happy Mask Salesman and SS19 were once the same dude! They kind of met an unfortunate fate and split in two. One the cool smart guy. The other a whiny baby. The Whiny baby was F.Mask, and SS19 was the cool guy.

Link: And of course we all know that Neptune is saying this to suck up to SS19 for using his name without permission.

Cloud: Yeah what were you thinking?

Neptune: Cloud? What the hell are you doing here?

Linda: Sorry, I was have a training session on him and got (baby voice) so many boo boos. Come grabs cloud and drags him along

Cloud: Noooooooooooooooooo!

Deleted Scenes:

Neptune: This fic HAD no deleted scenes. It was perfect all around!

Link: stares at Neptune

Neptune: What?

Link: continues to stare at him

Neptune: Okay, we had two, to, too, 2, deleted scenes

Link: you only had to say two once.

Neptune: Whatever. Anyway, here is one scene that was to take place in chapter 12, as Link, Linda, Rye, Signs, Cloud, and SS19 head out to Hyrule Field.

cut to deleted scene one

Link: Hurry up, People!

Cloud: Shut up.

Linda: you shut up.

(Soon the six of them make it to the gatepost.)

Guard: Answer my riddle, then you may leave.

Cloud: What? You only give us riddles on the way in!

Guard: I know but I just love making up ridiculous questions with ridiculous answers and having my few moments of fame in this fic.

Linda: Very well, what is it then?

Guard: When did the Monkey attack the old lady with the Pepto-Bismol?

SS19: Easy! 5:35, because they will never make a mattress to fit eleven people!

Guard: Right! You may procede to the Hyrule Field.

back to dvd specials

Neptune: that was deleted scene one. Why we took it out? I have no friggen clue!

Link: Now the second Deleted Scene was an the REAL ending to the fic

cut to second deleted scene

Ganondorf: Link you IDIOT!

Link: cuts Ganondorf in half, obviously killing him

Talon: Um, you weren't suppose have war against him.

Link: We weren't?

Talon: Nope, I made a mistake, you were suppose to rage was against someone else...

(suspense music cues)

cut back to dvd specials

Neptune: Guess you know what that means...

Readers: SEQUEL!

Link: Exactly.

Bloopers:

Neptune: Bloopers? This whole friggen thing was one big blooper.

Link: Yeah, it be more hilarious if we tried doing this right!

(Both begin to laugh hysterically)

Ending and Farewell:

Neptune: That was the end. This fic is officially over (not including the sequel)

Link: You know, that sad thing is, is that this special thing is longer than any chapter.

Neptune: True, true

Both: Farewell.

Linda and Cloud: From the rest of us too.

This is the new added in section. Don't be expecting any sequel, the site took it off.

Thats right! home of the nazis...uh, i mean, great people who don't take peoples stories off...tee hee.

Eh, oh well. For those who were curious, the sequel was pretty much this fic except it took place in the world of Termina of Majora's Mask.


End file.
